an abyss

I can’t recognize this emotion.

& if I refuse it, I will search for it in every wrong place.

What I didn’t think was right, was more than right for you.

& in your absence, my selfishness is bright,

& I’m reminded of my selflessness.

What has kept me in the past?

It was you,

It was me,

It was Toxicity, my love for you, toxic.

Yet, necessary.

& dangerously a part of me.